Alpha Female; The Secret of Submission

This article is directed at the alpha females, like the title states, and the men who love them.  What I mean by alpha is the dominant type of woman.  I took a horseback riding class about a year ago and it proved to be very eye-opening about the order of things in the natural realm.  Amidst the animal world there is one clear and dominant leader of the group. There is a pecking order too so, when the dominant one leaves the group, a second in command sort of takes over that alpha role. That leader can be a female horse at certain times but more often than not, it is the biggest and baddest of the bunch…usually a male horse, thus the term alpha male.  When that alpha male is present everyone is acting in the submission to his will. They are free to move about as they please for the most part but, they do not want to bear the consequences of being outside of the will of the leader.  They stay within the boundaries that have been set in the relationship.  Our society has bred a different type of woman.  She is the alpha female.  She often finds it difficult to come under the authority of someone else because she is used to being the boss.  This is not always out of her choosing but sometimes it’s out of pure necessity.  She is college educated, she is physically strong, she is independent, and she is in charge…a leader.


Looking back it’s sort of ironic that a group of my college-educated girlfriends and I got together to read, a few popular books at the time, about dating and finding Mr. Right.  Some of the books had terrible advice so, I will not even mention the titles of those.  However, one of the books we read, “Knight in Shining Armor,” by P.B. Wilson, proved to be very insightful.  The book was more about a lady preparing herself to be ready when this guy came around rather than some of the other books which spoke of how to manipulate men into doing what she desires them to do. Honestly ladies, the manipulation tactics work!  However, in the end, your life and relationship will be a mess because the principles of manipulation are not enough to sustain a relationship.  There is no character development in manipulation.  God is all about developing my character.  I say that the Wilson book is the better book for us to read and soak in it’s principles because, it is solely focused on character development.  In this book, she refers to the perplexing concept of submission.  In fact, she declares that we are “liberated by submission.”  Wow!  Liberated as in freedom?  I could not believe what I was reading because in my limited frame of mind, I thought to be submissive meant that I didn’t get a voice and someone else gets to walk all over me basically. My poor view of submission truthfully is the very thing that had me bound. What is a healthy view of submission then?  And, how do I walk in it?


Submission is not being weak.  In fact, true submission requires that a strong person willfully submitting themselves unto another person.  The only way two leaders can coexist is for one of them to be submissive to the other at any given point in time. It takes an amazing guy for a strong woman, an alpha female, to submit herself unto him.  Honestly guys, the alpha female wants desires leadership.  That’s why the recent movie about submission, although twisted, was popular among many women.  There is an underlying truth to it. Deep down inside, we crave the leadership of a man.  That doesn’t mean we desire to be handled harshly nor, does it mean we want our mates not to value our opinions.  It just means that the guy that we choose to submit to must be submitted to the will of God.  That’s right! I am proposing that submission is not just for women.  The powerful, alpha male has to be in tune with the wisdom and direction of God regarding how to handle this woman.  We can be a bit much to handle and confusing to understand sometimes.  The man who does not have divine revelation about things can become withdrawn, abusive, insecure or some combination of the three.

All people benefit from practicing submission to earthly authority, submission to the will of God in one’s personal life and ultimately submission to one another within the context of marriage.  A healthy, dynamic relationship is one where the man and the woman willfully submit to the will of the other.  However, if there is an impasse, where no agreement can be arrived at and neither wants to yield, the woman should trust the leadership and love of her husband.  This must not be simply a formula for her but, also done out of divine revelation and trust for God as well. It’s like she yields to his decision knowing that he has considered all things before making the move and that he has consulted with the Most High for direction as well.  (Side note for those dating: It is oh so important while courting that you observe his decision making capabilities, how he treats people in general and if he has connection with or is willing to submit to authority or higher power.) If we were at a stop sign and both parties decide to go at once, they will crash.  Instead of letting the relationship crash, someone must yield. Sometimes it will be him that yields, sometimes it will be her however, at a major impasse, the natural order of things is that she should yield.


I hope that this article causes the enhancement of some dynamic, power couples and a greater understanding of the beauty of submission for men and for women. If you happen to be in a committed relationship with someone who is withdrawn or insecure, I suggest marital counseling with someone who has been married for some years and believes in the leadership or connection with a higher power. That’s critical. If you are in an abusive scenario, please get to a safe place and reassess your options but keep yourself and your children safe. In a perfect world, all relationships are worth salvaging however, as alluded to in this article you have got to have two willing submissives.

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