Self-value. What an interesting concept. I’m really trying to wrap my mind around this topic so, I thought, let’s talk about it. How do I have value if not in relation to someone else? For example, does a diamond have value unto itself? Was it any less valuable when it was a lump of coal? Further still, does its value lie in the fact that someone recognized it as being valuable? I very strongly believe that the value of a thing must be somehow tied to the evaluator of that thing. I think that is the sentiment behind the statement…”one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.”
Now that I have declared that the measure of self-value is tied to the evaluator, who are the evaluators? My friends? My siblings? These evaluator could be coworkers, enemies…they could be anybody! I am of the belief that while our value is tied to the person or persons evaluating us, that doesn’t mean that I have to be abused because I am of no value to them or that I have to be ignored because I am of little value. The funny thing about this is that I get a choice. You get a choice. If the evaluator does not treat me with value, I can choose to put myself in different or better circumstances. I don’t have to agree with someone’s negative view of me or their lack of ability to value me. But, if I lack self-value, how then would I know that I’m being mistreated? I think this question takes us to the heart of the matter for every individual who struggles with the idea of valuing themselves.
Here is the truth that has set me free, or should I say, continually sets me free because I have to revisit it often enough. For a very long time, it had been difficult for me to see myself as someone of value. I’ve always seen myself through the eyes of my mother, the eyes of my dad, my brother, my friends and sometimes even strangers. I was continuously preoccupied with what others thought of me until one day, I learned to see myself through the eyes of the greatest Evaluator there is. I was talking to a mentor-friend of mine and I was sharing with her what a teacher had shed light on for me in the story of Ruth and Boaz. Boaz proclaimed that all the people saw Ruth as virtuous. “I had been much less than virtuous,” I told my friend, “and I wished that someone would see me as virtuous one day and that it would be true.” At that moment, my friend spoke life over me, saying that, “God sees you like this right now.” Wow! Just like that. My life has never been the same. I stopped beating myself up for all my imperfections and sins. I simply began to walk in that truth. I am valuable. There are probably like 5 to 10 lessons that can come out of just that one revelation but for now I want to conclude with this thought about the “self-value” concept. My self-value is tied the value that God has for me. You are valuable to God. Our only challenge today is to keep that perspective ever before us.
Self-value when it’s tied only to the self, in other words, self values self, it comes out like, pride, arrogance, ego-centricity and a lot of other unflattering characteristics. I don’t have any reference reading material for this blog but, if I find some things I’ll add them later.
I welcome your comments.