There was a time that I would sit down to write a blog article and the words would flow like water. It started with a thought about a certain topic or world event. I would open my laptop and navigate to the place where I could select “new post.” I quickly scribe the epiphany and the rest is history. It is as if the expository was downloaded in me. I am not sure where that me has gone. The person that I was is but a distant memory. I have been so disconnected from the source of my inspiration. I remember her…but barely. I wonder how I get in touch with that girl again. She was honest, she was open, she was authentic and she was fearless. She wielded the keyboard keys underneath her finger tips like a sable brush to a pre-primed canvas, awaiting the abstract expository that it would hold.
I got a glimpse of that girl this evening when I realized my “you are here” point in my life. I am here. Right here. Not there. There is not promised. Recently, a friend of mine said that she was all shook up because of Charlie Murphy’s death. She “hates death,” she said, “Although we must all go that way.” She doesn’t like the concept of that. Me on the other hand, I don’t fear death and I have thought about death since I was a little kid. It seems so permanent and so final…it was scary in my childhood. Today, I don’t fear death. Not like that. What I do fear is having a life that was not well-lived. Did I love people as much as I could? Was I successful in my career? Do I have responsible, respectful god-children and children? Did I have time to spend with those that are closest to me? How in the world to I manage trying to take care of a grown adult (my aging mother) when I am still trying to get myself together? There are so many unanswered questions. I desire to be a successful writer and aspire to have a great career as a counselor. I want to be a person that embodies love toward others. The questions that plague me about living life well are about one idea really. They can all be summed up in one question. What I really keep asking myself in every area of my life is, “Did I reach my full potential?”
The purpose of the abstract painting is to open up a conversation with the inner-self or with your companion(s) if viewed by multiple people. That’s what I love about abstract art. Everyone sees something different. There may be no resolve or the resolve can be a variety of things. There are infinite possibilities depending on the perception of the viewer. Perhaps this is what I hold dear about my art and my writing. It is meant to share a piece of me, the author. Yet, it is also meant to guide you to some sort of resolve. Maybe you will share my sentiments on a matter. Maybe you won’t. What matters most is that you mulled it over and came to your own conclusion. This writing is certainly a reminder for me of what my focus is in my writing and in life. My potential is this abstract concept. I hope that when I get to the end of my life and I look back, when others gaze at it, they see something beautiful, thought-provoking and maybe even inspirational. I hope that the people who passed by along the way got a glimpse of something wonderful.